Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
