plz talk dirty to me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
