i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
