the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize