yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
