so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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