my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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