oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
