shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
