i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What a dumb baby whore.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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