he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
