didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
