just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
