everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
