you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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