People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
