hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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