he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
