that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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