dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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