This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
