who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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