Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
