Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize