where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize