Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
