im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
