i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
