Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i think my cat just said my name.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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