Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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