Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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