told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
