How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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