put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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