Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
