508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
tell me about the fingering
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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