Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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