wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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