Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
