brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
