you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
