If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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