if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
