i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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