She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
