it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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