Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
