I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
