We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
