Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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