I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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