"it" just moved
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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