Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
