Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
