I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize