Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
why is half of my head shaved?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
