sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
