is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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