My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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