whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
as a side note pls kill me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize