i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
