I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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