But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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