As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
