kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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