i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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