I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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