I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
